3Practices for Crossing the Difference Divide is for people who are sad, angry, and apprehensive about important relationships being sucked into the vortex of the difference divide. It’s a book for people who aren’t ready to accept this as our new normal — where we have no choice but to write off relationships that mean a great deal to us.

Americans are distancing themselves from loved ones … avoiding family gatherings … dropping out of religious congregations … parting ways over social norms … breaking up over politics…. It doesn’t have to be this way, but at the moment this is exactly how it is. And, if we don’t change directions, it’s exactly how things will remain.

Jim Henderson and Jim Hancock spent a lot of energy learning to create spaces where folks come to understand each other without being obliged to agree. They’re convinced that anyone with a hunger for renewing and strengthening human connections can set the table for others who want that too.

And, of course, they’re not alone. The 2018 Hidden Tribes Report — Hidden Tribes: A Study of America’s Polarized Landscape — found that "77 percent of Americans believe our differences are not so great that we cannot come together."

The unanswered question is "How do we do that?"The 3Practices are a map across the difference divide.

— Practice One: I’ll be Unusually Interested in others — Practice Two: I’ll stay in the room with difference — Practice Three: I’ll stop comparing my best with your worst.'

3Practice Circles are how we find people who are willing to go the distance.

This book is about practicing the Practices in the safety of a controlled environment so people can take them home — and to work, school, and anywhere they’re likely to encounter people who hate what they love and love what they hate.

The 3Practices are not about waving the white flag. They're not about compromising principled convictions. They don’t even depend on finding agreement.

3Practice Circles are about reaching clarity and understanding and choosing to connect or protect, depending on what’s warranted.

The future is not in the rearview mirror. Henderson and Hancock have no interest in returning to a time when things seemed harmonious, but only at the cost of so many voices ignored, excluded, or silenced.

"The world is complicated," they write. "We share space with neighbors who may never agree on things that matter a great deal. But how about creating a collaborative future with those folks anyway? How about learning to work alongside people of goodwill who can disagree, loud and late into the night, without wishing each other dead or incapacitated?"

If the notion of working to create that sort of future strikes a chord in you, 3Practices for Crossing the Difference Divide is a map to help you get there.

3Q Check-ins . How to Pay Attention to the People You Can’t Afford to Lose

If you manage people, dream with us for a moment. What if…

  • You had a way to hang on to the employees you really want to keep…

  • You had a way to spot a bad hire in their first 60 - 90 days…

  • You could minimize the drama in your interactions with direct reports (and teach them how to do the same with the people they supervise…

  • You had a way to predict who could improve if you invested a little more time in them…

  • Your interactions with workers weren’t always focused around urgent problems or near term planning…

  • You could distribute your attention to your entire organization through your direct reports…

  • You could take the guesswork out of diversity, equity, inclusion, and belonging…

  • You knew exactly where, among those who report to you and those who report to them, to look for innovation and business intelligence…

  • You could spot relational brushfires before they became wildfires…

  • You had real time data that made performance reviews meaningful…

  • You could restore humanity to the workplace…

And what if you could accomplish all that in one 15-minute check-in a month with each direct report.

3Q Check-ins deliver these results with a clear, simple, structured way to pay attention — 12 months a year, every year — so you can hang on to more of the people you can’t afford to lose.

It’s no secret your Chief Engineer (CFO, CIO, Procurement Manager, Head Chef…) is not a people person. They don’t have to be — they were hired for their hard skills. But if their deficit in soft skills is costing you money (and valued employees) because nothing about managing people comes easy for them (whether they know that or not) it’s OK … there’s a way to fix that. They don’t have to change, and you don’t have to keep apologizing for them.

Weak supervisor/employee connections are far more likely to result from poor tools than bad faith or a failure of will. Give your managers a better tool and they’ll do a better job.

3Q Check-ins . How to Pay Attention to the People You Can’t Afford to Lose describes a simple, structured, consistent tool for anyone who's responsible for leading, supervising, developing, and assessing the performance of employees, contractors, mentees, volunteers — whoever reports to them.